Shame – Running away
Whereas Oscar chose to attack in Part 1, in Part 2 you see Oscar’s mother chooses to run away. She chooses to go to the gym a lot to avoid having to think about her problems. In this part of the film, it also becomes clear why Oscar bullies Vienne. Watch Part 2 of Bergwensa (Shame) here.
What exactly is shame?
Shame is an unpleasant feeling you get when an event or situation goes against your moral values or those of people close to you. It affects your self-esteem and your self-worth. For example, it can make you think you’re not good enough or that you don’t matter.
It often occurs in at the same time along with a fear of being disregarded, a fear of not being accepted, or a fear of the consequences. How bad the shame is and how you deal with it also has to do with the culture you live in. The situation you are in can also play a role if, for example, you are dependent on someone financially, materially or emotionally.
Shame can also come from being a perpetrator or a victim of domestic violence. Violence can be physical, emotional, sexual or a combination of these.
Shame because violence happens to you, shame because of fear of rejection, shame because you’re different, shame because you don’t know how to get out of the situation. Shame because you wanted to do things differently and it’s not working. Shame towards yourself because you feel you’re not worth it. Shame takes many forms.
Nathanson’s model shows:
An extraordinary conversation between four different fathers about the father’s role in the family. Four statements highlighting a man’s strength and vulnerability.
For any form of violence or suspected violence, you can contact:
Guiami, the advice and hotline for domestic violence and child abuse
Tel. 0802 0802
www.meldpuntguiami.com
